Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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