Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
