you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
