so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
