Too much gin, very little bucket
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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