y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
