Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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