all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
