I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize