Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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