the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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