he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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