He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
