Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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