If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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