Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
