normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You ruined the universe
Randomize
