So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
