we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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