like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
