Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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