im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
