he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
