Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
