Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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