my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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