He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wish my penis had a tongue
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
