it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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