Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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