Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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