remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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