idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
