i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
