And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
