you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
