i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
