Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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