It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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