is your mom at the bar?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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