so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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