It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
