he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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