Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I understand Curling. That high.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
