He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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