trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize