your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
