Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
