and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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