Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
420 ftw
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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