so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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