dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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