Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
