Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
