what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
