So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
