That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
