OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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