Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize