The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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