They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
