Whod you bang
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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