there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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