planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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