I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
