last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
