being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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