Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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