Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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