I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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