Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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