Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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