She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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