Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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