I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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